The Fortress of Love and Acceptance

“Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.”
Paul Tournier 

A week ago tonight I put together a small party to launch my new book on Kindle, The Wednesday Boy.  I was so excited that I ignored the fact that I hadn’t felt well all week, that I was dizzy when I was helping the students in the cafeteria and that I felt out of breath with the least little bit of exertion. 

It was a wonderful night.  Even though I don’t drink, there was wine and champagne for those who did, water for me and sparkling grape juice for those that are festive without alcohol.  A beautiful cake and lovely little sandwiches were here to feed to soul of those who have contributed so much to my life and creative process. 

My dear friend, Emrys, worked almost through the whole party to make sure that the launch went off without a hitch.  When it was all ready, she called me over to push the button.  I was amazed at how much power I could feel with the push of a button.  My baby was born into the world, ready to be judged by anyone who stops to look.

Saturday I felt exhausted, but that made sense in the context of giving “birth” and hosting a party and a very long week at work.  Sunday I walked with my friend, Karen, around a 3 mile path at a Tulsa park.  I had to stop many times to catch my breath, very unlike my usual pace and determination.

I ended up in the hospital Monday night.  Almost my entire left lung was full of fluid and had to be drained.  Having just recovered from throat cancer, my doctors were concerned.  My doctors went rapidly from concerned to confused, because with me “it’s always complicated.”

Going from the highest excitement to a mysterious diagnosis that is leading to more tests and surgery, is interesting.  Viewing the situation from the observer’s position, however, I have found acceptance.  I have found a circle of love and compassion that just encompasses whatever is to come.

I have the most amazing doctors…they are more than doctors, they are my friends.  I am grateful for their compassion, intelligence and sense of humor.  My friends and family have gathered like an army around me to hold me up.  My work family is praying and sustaining me.  What more could I possibly need?  While I’m carried on the wings of love and acceptance, I really am not worried.

Wonderful things are happening in my life.  I have the power to control my attitude and my responses.  I’m not discouraged and I’ve learned the most important lesson from my last bout with this horrible disease…

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME!!! 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
Melody Beattie 

Recipe for Chicken-tortilla casserole

because variety is the spice of life!

1 Can (10 oz) of condensed cream of chicken soup

1 Can (4.5 oz) chopped green chilies

1 Container (8 oz) sour cream

½ C milk

1 ½ C shredded cooked chicken breast

8 soft corn tortillas (6 inch), torn into bite size pieces

1 medium bell pepper, chopped

1 large tomato, chopped

1 ½ C shredded Mexican Cheese

1.   Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray 3 quart glass baking dish with cooking spray.

2.   Mix soup, chiles, sour cream and milk in a large bowl until blended.  Stir in chicken, tortillas, bell pepper, tomato and 1 C of the cheese.  Spread mixture in baking pan.

3.   Cover with foil.  Bake 40 minutes.  Uncover and sprinkle remaining cheese.  Bake 5- 10 more minutes uncovered.  Let stand 5 minutes before serving.