SURPRISE!

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hand.”
Richard Bach

Oh, sure, everyone wants the toy in the cereal or the Cracker Jacks but who’s really checking out the prize in a pound of liver? The benefits in the liver aren’t decreased because it’s harder to swallow or leaves a bad taste in your mouth!

I hate liver.  I hate for people to tell me how good liver is for me and how much my life will improve if I just embrace the liver and I especially hate when people tell me that liver really isn’t that bad if I just hold my mouth the right way.  Frankly, when I’m handed liver, for my own good, I will attempt to barter for the Cracker Jacks, not because of the popcorn but for those two or three candy coated peanuts that keep me coming back and, of course, the prize.  I have many situations and people in my life that might be considered liver(ish).  Every person has some type of liver circumstance in their life but not everyone seems to appreciate the benefits because they’re too busy anticipating how bad it’s going to be or complaining about the bad taste left in their mouths.  Always remember that when you’re in the middle of a liver situation you should balance it with lots of ice cream!

One day when I was complaining about my childhood, a very good friend asked me, “Then why did you pick those parents?”  No matter your religious persuasion and without arguing the truth of the question, you have to admit that it’s a great question and makes you think in a new way, which I always find refreshing.  Why did I pick them?  What were the gifts that my parents gave me?  It presented me with a new perspective on every aspect of my life.  I was no longer a victim of my circumstances but a participant in framing my own reality.  I picked my parents to develop deep empathy and compassion.

I am a cancer survivor but I am not one of those heroic types.  I’m the needle phobic wimp, trying desperately to bargain my way out of a diagnosis and treatment type.  I do not put on a beatific smile and saintly airs, gently gazing into space and contemplating my strength and virtue…nope, not me!  But, on the other side of my tears, fears, panic and whining, I have discovered unexpected treasures.  Why did I “pick” cancer?  Cancer made me challenge what I’m really capable of doing, it made me focus on what’s important and taught me to take naps without apologizing.

I have a red faced man in my life with bulging eyes and pulsing neck veins that likes to bully me.  He invades my space, talks behind my back and yells at me.  Now, this is a very cleverly disguised gift, wrapped in a garbage bag and smelling a lot like liver.  Why did I “pick” him?  So I would stand up tall, believe in myself and realize that most things in life just shouldn’t be taken so seriously. 

Victor Frankel, being tortured in a concentration camp during World War II, realized that his captors could take his life but they had absolutely no control over his attitude.  They could not put a dent in his spirit.  I would think that finding buried treasure as a Jew in Nazi Germany during WWII would really be a challenge but story after story tells how it was done. 

Recognizing gifts is not positive thinking.  It can actually be pretty stressful trying to be positive all the time.  Discovering the gifts hidden in the unlikely places is free, spontaneous and totally authentic, coming from deep in the heart and always includes a large dollop of gratitude.

“I am convinced that, except in a few extraordinary cases, one form or another of an unhappy childhood is essential to the formation of exceptional gifts.”                                                        Thornton Wilder

NOT A LIVER RECIPE (there’s your gift from me)

7Up Cake

1 box pineapple or orange cake mix                          1 box pineapple pudding mix

¾ C cooking oil                                                            4 eggs

10 oz of 7Up                                                               

Mix ingredients together well.  Pour into three greased and floured 8-9 inch cake pans.  Bake in 350 degree oven until cake is done.

Frosting:

1 C sugar                                                                     1 C coconut

1 C crushed pineapple                                                            1 stick butter

2 eggs                                                                          1 T flour

Combine all ingredients except coconut in saucepan and cook until smooth.  Add coconut and spread between layers of cake.

Don't Blame Me!

“Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”
                                     ~Erica Jong

Sorry that my blog is a little late but it really isn’t my fault!  My son is here from out of town and I’ve been really busy getting ready to go back to school.  Actually, if my parents had only taught me a better sense of time management, I’m sure I would have gotten everything prepared ahead of time.  Now that I’m thinking about it, this blog wasn’t even my idea!  People kept after me to write and telling me how much they enjoyed my teaching.  Back to my parents, they raised me to be such a people pleaser that I didn’t even have a choice but to write this blog and now to worry about whether it’s on time or not!

I wanted to make quiche this morning for breakfast but the store was sold out of eggs and I didn’t want to go to another store and I had my heart set of quiche.  I don’t know why stores are so irresponsible!  What’s the point of being a responsible person if all you have to deal with are irresponsible people?  Being the only responsible one just doubles my work load while everyone else just skips around piling more work on me! 

The black hole of shame spirals away from energy and toward lethargy.  It keeps us helpless and hopeless in a world that’s ripe with opportunities and choices.  Slavery will never end until we take off the chains of blame. 

I saw a commercial this week where a woman with dark eye circles was blaming her mother for them.  Okay, you have to have a lot of time on your hands to sit around blaming your parents for your dark eye circles!  Of course, the fact is that we can pass the blame on through the generations all the way to the Garden of Eden and, the ultimate scapegoat, Satan!  Parents and Satan get a lot of press for our own choices.

Those of us who are not busy blaming others are usually preoccupied with blaming ourselves.  There’s magic to self-blame in that others immediately comfort us instead of holding us accountable.  Self-blame can keep us from making any progress in our lives for years to come!

There’s a difference in blame and accountability.  Accountability is action, energy and change.  Accountability is discovering our authentic selves and marching toward our goals.  Accountability takes no prisoners.  Accountability keeps us free!  Blame is inaction, energy sucking, and stuck.  Blame is never getting to know ourselves or others in a real way and when we don’t reach our goals, it isn’t our fault!    Blame takes so many prisoners that it becomes bogged down as a prison camp, where we become the biggest prisoner of all.  It turns free people into slaves.

“A man may fail many times but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.”
                                   ~J. Paul Getty

Here’s a recipe for Sour Cream Enchiladas but don’t blame me if they aren’t any good!

It makes 12 if people actually show up…but don’t count on it!

Sauce:

3 T butter or margarine                                 dash of tobacco sauce

2 T flour                                                          1 med. Onion diced

2 cans tomatoes                                              2-3 tsp. chili powder

Salt                                                                  garlic powder of garlic salt

Saute onions in butter.  Add flour.  Put remaining ingredients in the blender and liquefy.  Add to onions and simmer until it thickens.

Tortillas (corn)                                                            green onions

Colby cheese                                                   sour cream

Fry corn tortillas quickly in hot oil.  Dip in sauce.  Place about 1 T sour cream and 1 t chopped green onions on tortillas and roll.  Place in baking dish.  Smother with sauce.  Sprinkle with grated cheese and bake in 400 degree oven for 15 minutes or until cheese melts.

                       

Being Authentic

"There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself.  It is the only true guide you will ever have.  And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls."  Howard Thurman

Why do we have to be dying in order to start doing life-giving activities for ourselves?  Wouldn't it be wonderful to truly live our lives to the fullest every single day?  Wouldn't it be fantastic to be motivate to be our authentic selves where we can be free, spontaneous and loving with the people in our lives?  If dying is the incentive to create authenticity then I have great news!  We are all in the process of dying!  Feeling motivated yet?

Being authentic and clearing up the unfinished business in relationships, where you have been unable to express what needs to be said or what you truly feel, will free your energy for living your life to the fullest for as long as wear this earth suit we call a body!

Think of someone in your life with whom you have unfinished business and think of what needs to be expressed to that person...not from vindictiveness but from the heart.  I have heard all the arguments about why it won't work or being too fearful of the outcome to try, but remember this isn't an overnight solution and it isn't to make anyone change, it is simply to be more authentic free up your emotional energy for what you truly want to do in your life.  Think about how much of your life force is drained by not asking for what you need and not expressing what you think and feel.
"I want to stop being in competition with you."
"I want you to stop talking about me behind my back."
"I want you to love me."
"I want you to trust me."
or even
"I'd rather have Coke than iced tea."
(Notice all these statements start with "I" because that takes you to the heart while "YOU" takes you to vindictiveness.)

I don't remember much about the old book, The Bridges of Madison County, but I do recall the heroine's death scene when her children discover the affair she had so many years ago and she says that at some point in life it is better to be known than loved.  Perhaps it takes a death scene of sorts to come to grips with that concept.  If you live your life without people truly knowing you, your thoughts, feelings and desires and if you live your life never asking for what you want or need, then no one will miss you when you're gone because you never truly existed in the first place.

"Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."  Howard Thurman

                                  Recipe for Buttermilk Scone (for when I miss England)

8 oz. self rising flour                    1/2 tsp salt
2 oz butter                                  2 oz raisins
6 fl. oz. buttermilk                        beaten egg for brushing

Sieve flour and salt into a bowl.  Rub in butter to flour unlike it's like breadcrumbs.  Stir in raisins and enough buttermilk to make soft dough.  Roll out dough to 1/2" thick.  Cut into rounds.  Place on baking sheet.  Brush with egg.

Bake at 350 degrees until done.

Conserving Energy

“Love always brings difficulty, that is true, but the good side of it is it gives energy.”

                                                                              Vincent Van Gough

So you wake up in the morning after a good night’s sleep, you look in the mirror and it’s a good hair day, you dress in something that you love and your teenager actually compliments you.  Obviously today is world conquering day at its finest!  All those projects you’ve been putting off, all those goals you haven’t met…today is the day!  And then you meet that certain someone, the one that means well, and you suddenly find yourself as flat as a pancake, nothing but your eyes bugging out, hoping you can make it home to crawl back in bed and try again next week!

You have just encountered an energy sucking, guilt and anxiety producing and wool blanket type of smothering called the Toxic Relationship.  First of all, Toxic People may not be toxic in all their relationships so I’m only discussing your relationship with them and not the TP as a person.  You should know that Toxic People NEVER know that they’re toxic!  In their own minds they are “helpful” and you really should appreciate all their “wisdom.” You know you have met a Toxic Person when you find yourself avoiding them or being drained by them. 

Toxic Relationships are usually found with people we can’t avoid, like family members and colleagues.  However, many times we invite these people into our lives to sabotage the progress toward our goals. Usually, the ones we invite in are people that mimic the primary relationships with our immediate family. 

I believe, in this day and age of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, that we have an obligation to conserve energy by not allowing Toxic Relationships to dissipate our life force!  Limit your time with them, if you are obliged to spend any time with them at all.  Learn to say “yes” to yourself and “no” to others and Lighten up!  You have a choice about how you respond and what you allow to come in.

So, remember to cut emotional energy costs that can deprive you of your success, your health or just make you want to spend the month in bed, you must Limit, Learn and Lighten up while you are also Reducing, Reusing and Recycling!

“Don’t hold on to anger, hurt or pain.  They steal your energy and keep you from love!”

Unknown

                   

 Check out my website at www.bestofcoaching.com/CatieMcGoldrick

Here’s a dessert that I hope you LOVE from my mother’s collection!

Geri’s Raw Apple Cake

2 Cups sugar                                                   2 ½ Cups flour

½ Cup shortening                                            4 eggs, separated

1 Cup buttermilk                                             1 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. cloves                                                    1 tsp. nutmeg

1 tsp. allspice                                                   ½ tsp salt

1 Cups raw apples                                           2/3 Cup raisins

2/3 Cup nuts

Beat well the sugar, shortening, beaten egg yolks, buttermilk (add a little soda to the buttermilk), flour and spices.  Add apples, chopped raisins and chopped nuts.  Mix well.  Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites.

Pour mixture into 9 x 13 greased pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 – 45 minutes. Top w/ powdered sugar (or icing of your choice).

ENJOY!

NO is not a Four Letter Word!

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

                                                                                   Tony Blair

Ahhhh, the art of saying NO …one of the issues that plagues some of mankind and almost all of womankind.  Just for the record, I have never had any trouble saying no!  In fact I am so good at saying no that it is in the marrow of my very bones! 

I love to dream and plan and make goals.  I love to write everything down and visualize, but  just as I am moving toward those goals. I will inevitably hear, “Can you…?”  The request is usually prefaced with a “Mom” or a “Punkin” or a “Miss Catie” or some other endearing title which has an even greater impact on my psyche.  It is then that I say no.  Unfortunately, my old habit is to say no to myself and yes to the request.

There are a lot of people who think they can’t say no.  They moan and complain about it but the truth is they are saying no… to themselves, to their dreams and goals every day.  At some level they believe that their own ambitions are less important than the desires of others.  We have internalized our parents’ negative voice; the one they believed would keep us safe. We have taken up the mantle of keeping ourselves secure by constantly telling our dreams, “no, no!”  Our hands are sufficiently slapped away, our authentic self hides, and our life shrinks to a place of safety where we are unable to truly serve ourselves or others.

I can hear all the arguments because I’ve made them myself!  Aren’t we supposed to serve others?  Shouldn’t we support the less fortunate (everybody is less fortunate, evidently), and isn’t it important to help mankind?  ABSOLUTELY!  But, whatever you desire desires you and from that place we can serve in a bigger, better and more profound way!  For instance, if you have a real desire to work with the choir at church because you love and are moved by music, but are constantly asked to take the nursery or a young adult class, you are not really serving at your best capacity.  From the place of our dreams we get the strength to perform mighty works.  If we don’t step out of our own comfort zone of “no, no” someone else won’t get the chance to fulfill their dreams of working in the nursery.  By saying no to others and yes to ourselves we open the doors for others to fulfill the dreams that they may not even be aware of!  I think it’s ironic that we expect God to always have a yes attitude towards us and are downright angry when we don’t perceive it that way but are usually blocking God’s yes with our no.  God gets blamed and we continue in our negative pattern hoping to please God, be good and maybe then we’ll get what we wish for!  Guess what?!  If God says yes and you say no, YOU WIN!  We are free agents on this planet and your no is more powerful in your own life than God’s yes.  WOW!

You may not believe this but not all people are here to support you!  Some people are inhabiting this planet for the sole purpose of giving your “no” muscle a workout!  They will stretch you and provide all the resistance you need to really work that muscle.  Be aware of why they are here be grateful for them! 

I know people who have no problem cursing but cannot utter that single syllable that would set them free…except in their own ear.  I realized at one point that saying yes has absolutely no and power without the ability to say no and vice versa.  Only when we are able to confidently be authentic do our words have any power, and without authenticity we really have no voice at all!

So, I give us all permission today to say, “YES! YES! YES!” to our authentic selves and see where it leads!  I’d love to know how it goes so Facebook me at empowerment international and tell me what happens!

“Half the troubles in this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough!”

                    Josh Billings

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON, JONATHAN!

His favorite cake recipe:

Heavenly Hawaiian Coconut Cake

1 can (8 oz) crushed pineapple in juice

½ Cup butter, melted

½ Cup brown sugar

9 maraschino cherries

Coconut

1 package 2 layer size yellow cake mix (with pudding)

Drain pineapple, measuring juice.  Add water to the juice to make 1 cup.  Combine butter, brown sugar, pineapple, and 1 cup of coconut.  Spread well in a well greased 13x9 pan.  Cut cherry almost in two to make 4 petals on bottom of pan.

Prepare cake mix substituting measured liquid for pineapple juice and stir a sprinkling of coconut into the batter.

Pour carefully over coconut-pineapple mixture.

Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

Cool 5 minutes.  Invert and lift pan.