Get Out of Your Rut!

 Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results is one definition for insanity.  I believe that makes us all a little crazy!  No matter what our daily routine is like we need to shake it up a little if we want to create change in our lives, but it is even more important to look at our lives with new eyes.  If I only look up or down, it doesn't matter where I am, I will see only earth or sky.  It's the bits in the middle that make the difference!  Every day the bits in the middle change.


Many years ago Harvard University did a study with a litter of kittens.  Half the litter was put into a room with only vertical stripes and the other half were kept in a room where there were only horizontal stripes.  the vertical stripe kittens were not exposed to any horizontal stripes and vice versa.  After a few months, the scientists introduced the kittens to the opposite type of stripe by switching their rooms.  The kittens were actually unable to see the new direction of stripe because, as the scientists found later, their brains never developed  that capacity.  Our brains literally won't develop the capacity to see anything new if we don't purposefully expose ourselves to fresh experiences.

By nature, I like routine.  Novel experiences are for younger, braver, more glamorous, and maybe better looking people; anyone but me!  Then cancer came knocking on my door.  Cancer...just the word grabs you by the shoulders (or in my case, the throat) and shakes you until your teeth rattle. There's nothing routine about cancer!  The bits in the middle shift into focus, brighter and in Technicolor!  Wrapping my head around cancer stretched my mind so that when I finished treatments and my body started to catch up to the idea of being healthy again, I began to move!  There are sparkles in my wardrobe now and sparkles in my relationships.  I know people who have known me wonder why I've changed.  "You were fine the way you were," they say.  I no longer want to be "fine."  I want to be alive.  I want to embrace and enjoy the horizontal and the vertical stripes!

                   "The best way to predict the future is to create it."
                                   Peter F. Drucker

Recognizing Miracles

Do you want to live a healthier more productive life?  Do you want your dreams to come true?

Albert Einstein once said, “There are two ways to look at life.  Either everything is a miracle or nothing is a miracle.”   I prefer to believe in miracles.  If you are a believer in miracles then I invite you to do the most selfish act that I am aware of, the act of being grateful. 

Gratitude is one of the healthiest things I’ve done for myself.  Gratitude reduces stress, which, in itself can lengthen my life.  Gratitude comforts me and makes me feel loved and, in turn, makes me happier and more successful which attracts other happy successful people into my life. 

Gratitude is not just an idea but a rich verb that has changed my life for the better.  Most people “do” gratitude fleetingly and then they’re on to the next attainment, but if anyone truly wants to meet their goals, they must learn to be grateful.  Every morning I write a gratitude list.  Every morning my gratitude list gets longer and more detailed.  Making this list is like tilling the soil of my spirit, allowing me to feel closer to the people in my life and the people that I draw into my life in the future. 

As a cancer survivor, I can say that gratitude is magnified when faced with a life threatening illness.  The kindness of people, the workings of our healthy bodies, sunsets, laughter, and the smell of roses or fresh baked bread are all sources of gratitude to me now.  I want to bask in that feeling and reap the selfish rewards.  I want to look people in the eye, clasp their hand, give a hug and let them know how much they really mean to me.

The more grateful I become the more successful I become.  The more grateful I become the more prosperous I become.  The more grateful I become the more generous and loving I become.  The more grateful I become the healthier my body grows. 

I believe that everything is a miracle and I am grateful.

You Can't Save Them All

I've heard "you can't save them all" so many times since I've worked in educational and mental health facilities.  I completely understand the frustration behind those words.  Teachers and therapists sometimes feel as if they are beating their heads against the proverbial wall when attempting to work with people of all ages!

I have developed a different philosphy:  It's not our job to save them.  It really isn't our job to save anyone, even though sometimes we believe that we can.  As educators or mental health experts, all we can do is to equip people with the tools they need to navigate life.  Many people will never be "fixed" but they can have new tools in their arsenol to have a happier and more productive life.

I had a fourteen year old client at one time who was acting out by cutting, destroying property and being promiscuous.  As we proceeded through therapy, I discovered that she had been raped by a boy at her school.  She was as resistent to therapy as anyone I have ever worked with but I continued to work with her and her parents.  The family moved away and I hadn't heard from them in many years.  I was at a book signing for my first book, "The Stardust Child" and this beautiful girl appeared in front of me.  She was in medical school, engaged and very happy.  Her family was with her and it was a great reunion!  When she had the tools she needed she was able to save herself!