“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so the world won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Maryanne Williams
I absolutely believe what Maryanne Williams wrote! I loved that Nelson Mandela used the quote in his inaugural speech and I want this quote to show up in my daily life…however, like the Titanic and the iceberg, I have a collision of epic proportions in my head and heart. The quote from my parents, that floats in my frigid sea of doubts is, “Who do you think you are?”
My parent’s quote was not intended to be mean but instructive. The Midwest is not about arrogance and sometimes confidence just has to go down with the ship! It’s better to live small and get on with your life than to think you’re better than you are. Giving up your confidence is a small price to pay to make people like you!
I was thinking about confidence vs. arrogance and wondering how they differ. Here’s what I’ve decided:
1) Confidence comes from the heart while Arrogance comes from the head. Truly confident people don’t have to think about it or judge it; they don’t have to slip into a role because they are authentically themselves. Arrogance is busy thinking of the next move.
2) Confidence is not exclusionary. Confident people don’t judge others or try to take away from their success. Confidence is actually very inviting and encouraging. Arrogance needs to be on center stage at all times…well, actually it needs the whole stage.
3) Confidence exudes from a place of adequacy. Confident people know they are enough and that they have enough. Arrogance comes from fear while confidence comes from love.
In my book, The Stardust Child, I wrote, “My friends didn’t like it when I began to change; they thought I should stick with more sensible things.” And later, “The wings are a mystery to those of the earth. Don’t let them be stolen, know your own worth!” People who feel inadequate will want you to stay small and as insignificant as they feel. So, why should we develop our confidence muscle? Simple! Because we can help more people, make a greater impact and glorify our Maker.
So, who do you think you are?
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." — Henry Ford
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